


Matters of the Heart

by cuernitos



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, F/M, Knight Lu Han, Lu Han - Freeform, MAMA Powers, i planned this story a year ago, mentions of other exo members - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-13 08:45:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10510317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuernitos/pseuds/cuernitos
Summary: In which Luhan is a drunkard saint called to protect the successor of the goddess he once vowed to love forever.





	

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been planning this story for over a year now, but I was never able to set my ideas into words until now. This is a series actually (OT12) but I don’t know if I can put all of the stories forward. I’ll let you all know later.

Kendra wakes up with a jolt. She’s sweating like crazy, and her heart is pumping erratically as a choked scream tries to crawl its way out her throat. Her eyes are wide, staring at the open window; the clouds are turning into a shade of orange and pink, the shine of the rising sun begins to fill her room, but it doesn’t calm her in the slightest. She takes deep breaths, and shakily moves her sheets aside. A frown settles on her lips as she sees her soaked nightgown. Although she is a grown woman, Kendra still could not stop wetting the bed. It’s not like she did it on purpose—on the nights she falls asleep, her nightmares do not let her awake.

Getting out of bed quickly, Kendra rips off her nightgown and the bedsheets. She quickly makes sure to wrap them into a ball, and throws them to the side. She makes her way to her wardrobe, and opens the doors. She grabs a flowy baby pink dress and quickly puts it on. She doesn’t bother with her hair, days have gone by and she has yet to wash it; she doesn’t bother with shoes either, it would be better if her footsteps didn’t echo. Grabbing her bedsheets from the floor, she silently exits her bedroom. Leaving her room would not look suspicious if she were a lady-in-waiting, but she is the princess, she should not know how to wash her own bedsheets. Yet, she has no other choice, or rather, she does not allow herself to have another choice.

Kendra does not like asking her lady-in-waiting to wash her accidents for her, it’s embarrassing. She’s already ashamed of the whispering behind her back, she doesn’t want to give the people within the castle another reason to gossip.

She reaches the washing grounds pretty soon, after navigating through castle estate in silence for years, Kendra knew the easiest way to get to the washing grounds. The morning air is cold, but she does not mind. Her body temperature is always high in the mornings after she sleeps, it goes along with her dream walking.

Kendra makes her way inside the soap shed, she knew which soaps will help remove the stench of urine off her sheets. She grabs a bar of soap and makes her way to the river. She kneels by the brook, separating the cloths. Kendra begins to wash her nightgown first, an old, ratty silk cloth the Queen had gifted her before she passed away. That was five years ago. Moving her sleeves out of the way, Kendra begins to soak her nightgown in cold water, the icy sensation feels nice against her warm skin, it helps her body cool down. She washes quickly, the sun is continuing to rising and the maids are to arrive soon to wash. Kendra’s breathing is labored, her heart isn’t pumping frantically in fear anymore, but from the physical work she’s putting to wash. Straining the water out of her nightgown, she stands and dangles it over a tree branch and returns to wash her bedsheets. The sound of heavy footsteps echo through the trees, she doesn’t bother to turn around, instead she tries to wash quicker. Kendra can recognize the sound of those footsteps, nothing makes her more embarrassed than knowing that he was approaching.

“So you were here,” he says. He has a deep voice to match his sharp features, beautiful olive skin, tall and broad, and healthy brunet hair. So Ryung, the stable boy, makes Kendra’s heart tighten even when he’s not looking at her.

Kendra’s cheeks flush, she did not like when he saw her like this. It made her want to crawl into the river and let herself drown. He leans against the tree, giving her space. Kendra continues to wash, she knows So Ryung wants to help, but she did not want it. The first time he saw her washing her bedsheets, he offered to help. He didn’t recognized her at first, and insisted in helping, Kendra had been close to tears from the discomfort. “I’m sorry, Your Highness. I’ll give you space to wash,” he said, and that was that. Now, when he does come to the river, it’s to give her company. The friend she needs, but does not have.

“You didn’t bring clothes to wash today?” she asks casually. Even if the years have passed by, she hates it when he’s there, watching every move she makes. She often wonders if he can smell the stench of urine.

“I washed yesterday,” he answers, “but Celia told me you fell asleep. I figured you would be out here.”

Kendra’s face turns red again, her hands working faster to clean. “So Ryung, you know I don’t like it when you see me like this.” She drags the blanket out of the water. Strands of greasy hair fall to cover her face, she begins to strain the water out of the blanket. She can see So Ryung coming closer, he takes the other end of the blanket, helping her.

“And I don’t like it when you do this by yourself.”

She frowns, lowering her head. Kendra doesn’t bother with telling him to stop but she wants to argue, ask him to stop; but the sun is now fully out, the maids will be here any second, she cannot allow herself  to waste anymore time. In silence, Kendra and So Ryung finish the washing, he carries the sheets and she carries her nightgown. They don’t go through the open path, instead they take a hidden path Kendra created. So Ryung leads the way, while Kendra follows. She stares lovingly at him, and when he turns to give her a smile, she looks away.

Having a relationship with someone who is not a nobleman is taboo, everyone knows that, but Kendra could not fall for the stable boy. So Ryung is a man of his word, he always granted every promise they made to each other, and although he never accepted anything in return, Kendra always makes sure to give him a gift as a thank you.

“How was your sleep?” So Ryung asks, suddenly.

Kendra looks up, she’s startled by the sound of his voice. Her sleep? “Uhm, I dream walked again. It was terrible.” She releases a sigh, lately the dreams have been getting worse.

“What did you see this time?” He stops, and turns to look at her. Kendra stops as well, biting her lips as she looks up at him. She once told him about why she washed her own sheets, while people inside the castle know she is the successor to the Goddess Fae, they never seize to gossip about her. She can be quite hysterical sometimes.

“I was on a ship, a merchant vessel, I think, I— I’m not sure. A woman was there, she was commanding the ship. For some reason, I was following her around, something sort of...drew me to her. She went below deck, to check on something and then, this man— this really swift and nimble man attacked her when she was alone. She was able to fend for herself, and he was thrown overboard, but she was hurt, slightly.” Kendra pushes her hair back, normally she’s able to see the faces of the people she sees, but this time, that woman’s face was not visible. “I couldn’t see her face, so I can’t say who it is.”

So Ryung nods. “That’s good if you can’t see her face. You won’t have to worry if you see her in person.” He turns around, and then says, “Please, don’t make yourself ill by trying to force yourself to remember. You’ve already been bedridden.”

Kendra nods, and walks behind him. So Ryung tells her to run back to her bedroom, “I’ll take care of the sheets. Lady Soo is already bringing out the sheets.” He motions towards the drying laundry, and Kendra smiles tiredly at him.

Thanking him, she runs inside.

 

“Princess Kendra.” There’s a knock at the door. Kendra jumps in surprise, she’s now fully cleaned, and she’s wearing a much more appropriate dress fit for a princess. “Come in,” she calls.

A young girl, around the age of 16, enters the room, bowing carefully while she holds a tray of food. “I hope you slept well, Your Highness.”

“I slept fine, Celia. Put the tray at my vanity, please.”

“Yes, Princess.”

The tray has a simple dish on it: a single slice of bread, an apple, and a glass of milk. Kendra never had much of an appetite, and when the Queen asked the court physician why, his answer was, “Her power does not allow her heart or mind to settle, as long as she keeps refusing to sleep, she will not be able to stomach very much.” But Kendra lost more than just her appetite, her health began to deteriorate as well, both in body and mind. There are times where she will find herself wondering what silence and peace feels like, and will find herself ready to throw herself down the castle stairs.

It was not her first attempt, and the castle guards know it will not be the last. However, Kendra tries her best to stay sane, even if her subconscious constantly encourages her to find silence.

Celia cuts the apple in slices, while Kendra tries to swallow the warm slice of bread. She is not very hungry this morning, but the King always insists that she try to eat. Kendra looks at herself, she’s sitting at her vanity, the glass is too clear. She frowns at the woman staring back; her hair grows thinner by the day—unhealthy and limp, her face is too hollow that her eyes look too big for her face, and her skin looks sickly pale, it almost takes a gray tone. Looking away, Kendra continues to nibble into the bread, Celia hands her a slice of apple and Kendra accepts it. She sucks on the slice first, before carefully biting into it. She’s tired, she always is but today is a different type of tired, one she has not felt.

“Your Highness, are you okay?” Celia gives her a worried look. Kendra gives her a small smile and nods, “I’m fine.”

She cannot understand this feeling. Kendra feels extremely fatigued and hot, and her body looks like it’s moving quite slow. Why is the room spinning, she wonders. Why does her tongue feel heavy and dry. “Celia…” she slurs. Black spots have begun to appear in her vision, but she can still see Celia.

Her court lady watches her closely, a guilty expression on her face. “I— Your Highness.”

Kendra could not understand what she said, and she couldn’t ask. She slumped forward, Celia catching her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just remembered that I lost the notebook where I wrote down all of my ideas for this series. I might have to come up with new ideas or try to recollect what I planned. –sigh–


End file.
